RATING: 1.0
SCHMIDT SAYS: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
RATING: 1.2
SCHMIDT SAYS: Sharp, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.
RATING: 1.8
SCHMIDT SAYS: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
RATING: 2.0
SCHMIDT SAYS: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
RATING: 2.0
SCHMIDT SAYS: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
RATING: 2.0
SCHMIDT SAYS: The sensation is like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
RATING: 3.0
SCHMIDT SAYS: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
RATING: 3.0
SCHMIDT SAYS: Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
RATING: 4.0
SCHMIDT SAYS: Blinding, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
RATING: 4+
SCHMIDT SAYS: Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail grinding into your heel.